Transitional Woman

Last week I was given a bead for my charm bracelet. It is called "Transitional Woman" and it depicts a woman evolving. I have decided that Transitional Woman and I do not agree. This past week has been absolutely awful for me. I fully believe that I have cried more in the past ten days than anyone should. period. I apparently am not a fan of transition. The change is difficult to deal with. For the past four years I have been a college student and what am I now? How do I identify myself to myself? I wish that I had gone straight into classes once I got finished at AUC. Maybe things would have been easier that way? There are so many questions floating around in my head right now and the inability to answer them all makes me anxious. Where am I going with my life? What am I doing with my life? What will Princeton be like? Will I be able to pass Greek? Will I make friends? What will living in New Jersey be like? What will I do once I am done with Princeton? How will David and I make the five hour distance work? Will I be able to find a job at Princeton?

Another issue I am having is that I feel like there is nowhere I belong. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally. They are genetic programmed to in a way, like you. My family does not like me. My family does not love me. They have made this abundantly clear as of late. If, the people who are supposed to love me do not, who will? If I do not belong with my family where do I belong? I no longer belong at my college, so where do I belong? Where is a family I can call my own? Is there anywhere that I belong?

Summer Reading

I plan to get a few mindless books in this summer: random chicklit and the like, but on top of that I have a list that was sent to me by the seminary that I'll be starting in on.

History

Comby, Jean, How to Read Church History, vol. 1, From the Beginnings to the Fifteenth Century (New York: Crossroad, 1985).


Theology

Bruyneel, Sally and Alan G. Padgett, Introducing Christianity (Maryknoll, N.Y.: Orbis, 2003).

Olson, Roger E., The Story of Christian Theology: Twenty Centuries of Tradition & Reform (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity, 1999).


Bible

Fee, Gordon, How to Read the Bible Book by Book: A Guided Tour (Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan, 2002)


Practical Theology

Paul Scott Wilson, The Four Pages of a Sermon: A Guide to Biblical Preaching. Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1999.
Clayborne Carson and Peter Holloran(eds.) A Knock at Midnight: Inspiration from the Great Sermons of Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. Grand Central Publishing, 2000.


General Suggestions

Elie Wiesel, Night. New York: Hill and Wang, c2006

D. Bonhoeffer’s Life Together. Minneapolis: Fortress 1996

Karl Barth Evangelical Theology: An Introduction. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1963.

It Makes My Heart Happy

Tuesday Afternoon I was sitting in my New Testament Epistles class. The final class of my undergraduate experience. This has been a difficult experience for me this semester, not because the work was too difficult but because my beliefs are so vastly different than the beliefs of my classmates and this class really brought that to the surface. In this class I preached a sermon on the role of women in the church. I preached the sermon as woman who hopes to be ordained some day. Many of my classmates come from backgrounds where women are not meant to speak in church, women are meant to teach the little kids and that is it. I also wrote my thesis on homosexuality in the bible, and not from the “condemning Gays to hell” perspective that my classmates support. Rather, I wrote it from a open and accepting viewpoint and presented it as such to the class. So Tuesday when someone was presenting their paper on “Sexual Immorality: fornication and homosexuality” everyone in the class turned and stared at me.

Tuesday afternoon, people were glaring at me and making snide comments because the only conclusion they can draw is that if I support gay rights and do not condemn homosexuality I must therefore be gay and practice sexual immorality. Truly, I do not care. The looks and the comments are no skin off my back. I know who I am and what I believe. Tuesday night, in the Presbytery of the Twin Cities, the votes were cast and tallied and Amendment 10A passed. This Amendment, which I have written about previously, will change the wording of a section of the book of order (The Constitution of the PCUSA- for all you known presbys)to allow those who are not in a committed relationship consisting of a man and a woman to be ordained into official positions of the church.

It should not come as news to any that follow this blog that I rejoice in the passing of this amendment. I did not wish to be in a church that would exclude so many devoted Christians simply because of who they love. Many have threatened to leave the church and to those who do, I wish them all the best. I hope that they find a new church home that is more in line with their theological standing, but please do remember that you are leaving by your own free-will, no one is forcing you to leave. To those that have been standing on the sidelines, the PCUSA is open to you. We will accept you and the one you love.

Someday I hope to be ordained as a Minister of the Word and Sacrament within the Presbyterian Church (USA), and it makes my heart happy to know that one day I will have the opportunity to serve alongside my fellow Christian brothers and sisters regardless of their sexual identity.

Coffee, Sleep, and Graduation!

The next eleven days of my life are going to be chaos. Tomorrow I have a computer class. I have to leave class early to go down to the high school that is affiliated with my college and talk about mission work during their chapel. After that, I will be working in the Admissions office because the head of the Admissions department at the school that is buying out my college will be on campus. I will also be working on assignments while working in the office. Shh don’t tell. Tomorrow evening I am running evening worship for the women’s dorm. I still have to figure out what my topic will be, perhaps something about how we are all unique.


I have until Friday to turn in all of my work for my course in Revelation. That is fifteen assignments. Luckily, they are only one page each, but nonetheless that is still a lot of work. I also have my Revelation final on Friday. That is going to be fun to fail. I am going to pull a college humor and draw a little picture at the end of the test begging for mercy. Highly doubt it will work but it is worth a try. My professor wants me to pass. He does not want to have to deal with me any longer than he already has. I think a lot of people will be happy when the crazy liberal Presbyterian is gone. They can go back to their happy conservative ways.

I have a few papers to write for my class on American Cinema, due on Tuesday. Luckily, once I take my Revelation final on Friday, I no longer need to attend class so I will spend that time Monday finishing assignments. I have presentation to give (on Tuesday), a Tennis final to take (on Tuesday) and a computer final to take (possibly also on Tuesday). Tuesday morning there is also a graduation rehearsal. This will be the first practice we have had for graduation and the first time we are truly being told anything about our graduation. I do not think I have anything on Wednesday, which would mean that my undergraduate education would be completed Tuesday evening.

The senior events start Thursday evening. Thursday evening is the Senior Banquet at an Italian restaurant in Millis. There is so much drama surrounding that event. Considering it is my last banquet and my last social event of college, I am hoping it turns out to be a relatively drama and stress free evening. I have friends that want to go out after the banquet Thursday. The banquet does not end until 12 AM and by the time we make it back to Lancaster it will be closer to 1 AM. As much as I want to celebrate, I think I will have to pass. Friday will be dedicated to baking a cake (I am making a graduation cake for my friend Alexander) and packing. Friday night is consecration. I am not entirely sure what this service is intended for. I am under the impression that it is pretty much the same thing as Baccalaureate. Saturday is going to be jam-packed. Saturday morning I am speaking during the regular church service (Adventists worship on Saturdays) about my mission trip to Cameroon. At 11:00 AM, we have our Baccalaureate service. Finally, at 4:00 PM there is the nurses’ pinning. While I am not required to attend this, I will go to support my friends. Saturday night I will be dying my hair purple.

Sunday, May 15, I will wake up in the morning and it will finally be the day I graduate from college. Graduation is meant to start at 11:00 AM on the campus Mall. I hope that it will start on time. By 1 PM, I will be a college graduate. After graduation, I thank whoever is coming to see me graduate and then I head over to the Kirchberg house so Alexander and I can celebrate our accomplishments in style!

The next 11 days are going to be filled with large amounts of coffee and diet coke and lacking greatly in sleep but come May 15 it will all be worth it!