Death can be really hard to handle. I know this from experience. In the past two years I have lost both my father and my grandmother. As it was often said at my grandmother's wake and funeral this past week, "We really need to stop getting together this way." I think that this past week throughout my grandmother's wake, funeral, and internment I believe I held it together pretty well. But I realized that there is one thing that sets me off and launches me into tears.
Let me first explain this:
On my father's side of the fmaily, I was the first born granddaughter. There are two male cousins that are older than me as well as my brother. I was the only female granddaughter for almost 10 years. (I believe I was 9 when my cousin Anna was born). So after me came five more grandsons.
That being said I have come to realize that one of the hardest things for me is to see these strong men cry. After my grandmother's funeral I was doing well until I looked over and some my cousin who is 6 months older than me crying. This instantly sent me into tears. Having never seen most of my cousins cry before this past week I think made it even more difficult.