Resolutions I Can Stick To!

Year after year people decide upon their New Year resolution. But how many people actually stick to their resolutions? There are those that decide that they will lose 50 pounds, but by the second week of January, how many people throw that out the window, when the chocolate cake because just too appealing? I have known many people with the resolution to quit smoking...but once they become stressed, well one cigarette doesn't count. 

I usually neglect to make New Year resolutions because I know myself and I know I will forget to stick to them. This year, however, I have decided that I will make some. My resolutions will be realistic ones and ones that I believe I can actually keep. 

• Become more organized- I've purchased a planner and written down all of the events for the year that I already know about. I've enlisted the help of a friend who is a fantastic organizer. A huge factor of my current disorganization is my Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) so I'm headed off to a counselor to talk about that and figure out new coping mechanisms. 
• Become more financially responsible- I've altered my schedule to increase the number of hours I am working and I am being more conscious about my purchases and the way in which I spend my money. The biggest part has to do with organization and being aware of how much I have in my bank account (which means I will need to write down all of my transactions).
• Develop my prayer life- When I sat down with my CPM (Committee on Preparation for Ministry) this was something I decided that I need to work towards, but since then I haven't really made any progress. I'm searching for a devotional that captures my attention and one that I will stick with. Any suggestions will be appreciated.
• Become healthier- Like so many other people there is the underlying desire to lose weight. I would love to have the pounds just melt away, but more than anything else it is simply a desire to feel healthier. So that will include eating healthier (tonight it was spinach salad instead of the mashed potatoes and deep fried chicken patty), increased physical exercise (not necessarily hitting the gym hard but other things as well, today it was a walk around the graduate college's campus and the Institute for Advanced Study), and simply making smarter health decisions. 
• Sleep- I get a lot of it. I don't get sleep at the appropriate times. I need to move away from the going to bed at 3 AM and catching up on sleep on the weekends and move towards the getting 8 hours of sleep, even if that involves social sacrifices. Appropriate sleep schedules need to be a priority. 

5 resolutions. All of them are things that I will have to be conscious about. Some will be easier than others. Some will require a lot of help from other people. Some I simply need to make a priority in my life. Many of them will require sacrifice. I think I can do it. I think they will help to make me a better person physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally, in all the ways that matter. 

Words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated as I try to stick to these. 

Reflections

Cameroon is unlike anywhere else I have been. Considering that it was my first time outside of North America, this should come as no surprise. Our first night Shelby and I had a conversation about the trip and how everyone told us how much it would change us and how we were unsure of what that really meant. At the same time, the timing of the trip came at a point where we both needed it. For a while, I have been trying to figure out my life and what I am supposed to be doing with it.
When I had finished packing on my last day in Bamenda, I sat on my bed in Ma's house and made a few lists. Lists of things I had to declare at customs, a list of things I tried for the first time on this trip:

• Kola Nut
• Bitter Kola
• Raffia
• Cassava
• Fermented Cassava (myobo)
• paw paw
• huckleberry
• bushmeat
• bone marrow
• palm wine
• lamb
• achoo
• ground nuts

Those were only the things I could think of in that moment, there are other things I tried that I didn't write down and because people were feeding us so often there were things I ate without knowing it. In addition to eating things for the first time I also made of list of things I had done for the first time:

• first trip to Africa
• first time in Cameroon
• First time I have ever been called Pastor (in Cameroon if you are studying to be a pastor, they call you pastor which was difficult for me because I don't feel qualified)
• I've never had my picture taken so many times
• First time dining with the head of a political party
• first time I have felt 100% completely totally and utterly confused
• First time watching and participating in traditional African dances.
• First time wearing and owning a traditional African dress
• First time visiting a palace
• first time stuck in a car which was stuck in a ditch
• first time praying over a dying person
• first time blessing a home

The second to last one (First time praying over a dying person) is the one that sticks out when I have reflected on my time in Cameroon. I have been with people that were going to die. I have visited nursing homes. I have prayed with people that were in hospice. But none of those people were facing their death so quickly. The woman I prayed with in Bafut was going to die soon. Essentially she had hours, maybe days. I'm studying and preparing for a life in ministry. I still don't know what aspect of ministry.

Being with this woman and praying with this woman freaked me out. I was petrified. I had never done anything like this and I doubted I could. I was afraid I would say the wrong thing. I was afraid I would pray wrong. I was afraid I would be the last prayer she heard. I was afraid for so many reasons. Then, a little voice in my head said "Let Go and Let God". It's weird that an AA slogan would pop into my head. Maybe it's because I've spent time sitting in on AA meetings and going to Ala-teen, or maybe it was someone specific telling me that. I'm not sure, but the voice was right. That was exactly what I needed to do.

So I let go. So I let God. I'm not really sure what I said. I honestly have no clue. I may have started with Dear God, but I'm not certain. I know that I ended with Amen. I was freaking out for know reason. It wasn't about me. I twas about God! God wasn't going to let me screw it up because God was in control.

New House

1/3/11 10:40 PM
Transitioning to the second host was a lot less scary. Maybe the scary part the first time was the fact that I was unaware of the fact that we were being separated. But unlike last time I am not freaking out at all this time.

Today we had lunch with Fru Ndi. When planning this trip I dot think anyone thought we'd meet the head opposition of the president of Cameroon. Never mind meeting him, we have been his personal guests for meals twice and pastor Cindy is staying at his home. I ate lunch today on Fru Ndi's left hand. There's something cool about dining and laughing with a powerful political figure in their country, in their home. He is such a kind and hospitable guy too.

The last thing I did with Emelia was visit the treasury. I was introduced to everyone there! I feel like a tourist attraction more than a tourist. The head of finance (our version would be secretary of the treasury) was very interested in me. He's one of those guys that believes Prayer can heal everything. He gave me his personal cell phone number and if I ever need prayer I am to call him and he will pray with me over the phone because god's healing power is wireless. He also offered to e my daddy and said I am welcome to cone back to Cameroon any time I want and stay with him...awkward.

My new host is Rosa. Everyone calls her Ma. That's because she is everyone's mother. She says she has taken care of 60 children all together. SHe had seven of her own and then has taken in other children who has needed family. She provides for them all and good educations too. She is the treasurer for the church. Of course she's also in the Christian Women's fellowship. She works as a teacher in the local government school. Her classes have 100 kids in them. She said she will take me to see the school. She also own a business in town and sells all kinds of things, but mainly medications. She also farms like all the vegetables they use. She believes in only buying what you can't produce yourself.

Today we went to her store and I sat there and watched as she gave advice to customers. Then we went back to the compound and picked up her daughter and her daughters friend. They go to the Presbyterian secondary school. It's a boarding school and today was the day to go back. All of the children here uniform and the color of the uniform dictates their year. All if the children are also required to shave their head. Their hair can't be longer than a pencil tip.

Later we went back to the store and talked for a long time. Back at the house there was more talking. I really like Ma and she offered to be my momma. Tomorrow is Bafut with the whole group and I'm hoping Ma takes me to the school.

Many Firsts

1/3/11 12:01 AM

This trip is a series of many firsts. My first trip to Africa, my first time leaving north America, my first transcontinental flight, first time eating many different foods (like kola nut, palm wine, bush meat, etc.) first time at a traditional dance and other cultural firsts. Today I had another first the was more of a career first. When we were leaving Bafut (which I will explain later) we stopped at the home of someone who was sick. It turns out that she is dying. They believe she has cancer but she has nor been taken to hospital. She is very near death. In Cameroon they view me as a pastor. They found out I plan to be a pastor and am studying religion so I am a sort of a junior pastor in ways. They've had me say grace (which I have done many times before so I am used to it), bless a home (I don't really know what to do so I prayed for the family, and now pray over a dying woman. I have never done that before and internally I was FREAKING OUT!!!!!!!! What if she dies soon after? What if this is the last prayer she hears? What if I mess it up? Can I do this? Am I qualified for this? So many questions were going through my head, but I was put on the spot and the woman, her friends and her grandson were waiting for me to pray over her so I prayed. I told Cindy about it when I got back to Bamenda and she was proud of me. I'm still not sure what to think.

This morning we attended church and it was very interesting. There was the baptism of three children, the presentation of new babies, and the blessing of marriages. These aren't done in our tradition so it was great to watch. Shelby, David and I were brought into the Sunday school class. It is huge! Hundreds of kids! They sang to us and applauded when we entered the room. Faith saw me and ran up to us. She sat on my lap/leaned against my legs while we were there. Shelby was jealous of my special friend. Once the service ended everyone wanted to have their picture taken with us. I felt like a tourist attraction. I have never had my picture taken so many times in my life.

Once we left the church, we went to the home of the family that had the baptized children. They feed us (of course) and Clara, Shelby's host, had me try something new. It was fermented casaba wrapped in banana leaves. It was an interesting gelatinous texture.

When our group left the party, smells said we would head to her village in Bafut. First we drove to the market and bought a bag of salt. The market was interesting and very busy. Crossing the street was dangerous. The people here are so intrigued by the color of my skin. A boy was starring at me and tripped. We went to the home of emelia's junior brother. There I was fed again and had palm wine. I tried a sip of it in Nkikoh. This kind is different. This was the knock you on your ass variety. When we first arrived, the women danced around me and embraced me. It was confusing but cool. While there I saw communism at it's most pure form. The bag of salt we brought was placed with palm oil. After the meal the salt was dumped into a bucket and the palm oil poured into a bowl. Then they are both evenly distributed throughout all of the family. They ring what they have and take what they need. It was awesome to watch. They presented me with a broom made of palms. Hopefully customs won't take it away.

Tonight we had dinner at grace's house. Shelby and I basically stalked Ryan, trying to take millions of pictures. Ryan's mom and dad are members of our church but Ryan is living here in Bamenda with his grandmother, Grace. Caroline and George asked us to take pictures of him because they miss him. After spending time there Emelia and I came back to her house. Erica and I talked more about the difference between Cameroon and USA. Specifically we talked about products like shampoo, nair, and razors. I took my shower and attempted to bathe the dust off and then finished off the night with conversation with Erica and watching music videos with her.

Tomorrow morning, at 5:30 AM, Emelia is taking me to a prayer service. Hopefully I will stay awake. Shelby is going to the local school where he host teaches, in a bit jealous. At 12:30 we switch to our second hosts. We are also once again the personal guests of Fru Ndi. We were trying to figure out who he would be equal to in USA and we think someone like Martin Luther king Jr or maybe Malcolm X.Tomorrow should be yet another series of adventures.