It has been nearly five months since my last post and I think a lot has changed and a lot has happened in those five months. I am going to a series of short post to cover the past five months.
I spent the summer working at a small Presbyterian church in New Jersey. It is a New Church Development even though it was founded about twelve years ago. They still meet in the cafeteria of a middle school . It's a single pastor and I learned a lot of things. I had the opportunity to create a Vacation Bible School curriculum for middle school and high school students that worked with the Daniel in Babylon story. This was probably the highlight of my field education placement. I really got to bond with the kids and I took them on fun trips that had to do with the curriculum I wrote. I also learned other things through this placement. I learned how important it is for a pastor to have clergy and non-clergy friends outside that they can lean on. I also learned that I am pretty sure I am not called to do NCD work and solo pastor might be iffy too...still discerning that.
For the summer I subletted an apartment and spent time living with friends which was a great experience. It was a bit crowded in the small apartment but we bonded even more than we previously had. It was my first time choosing people that I would live with and doing everything on our own. It was a great experience.
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
#iloveseminary
People laugh when I tell them how much I love seminary. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous but I am literally in love with this place and these people.
Prior to coming to seminary I think I had an idea of what seminary would be like because of all the time I've spent with friends that were seminarians, and just hanging out at BU's School of Theology and Harvard Divinity School. I pictured seminary as a welcoming place. An accepting a place. A place where theological differences can be brought to the table and discussed in a respectful and meaningful way. More or less, I realize now that I dreamed it would be the polar opposite of my undergraduate experience.
Princeton Theological Seminary, thus far, has far surpassed my expectations. I have met so many amazing people here and I am meeting new people daily. I have found myself a group of friends that allowed me to come into their fold. I have found people that are warm and welcoming, opening and accepting, interesting and loving, intelligent and fun. I have found a community that comes from all kinds of theological backgrounds that are able to come to the table and have frank respectful conversations about where we come from and where we are going.
I came to Seminary and dove right into things. Since the semester started, I have joined BGLASS (and helped plan the opening worship), helped plan the intercultural cafe (which is this Thursday so anyone in the Princeton, NJ area should come out), and plan to get involved with the Interfaith Network of Understanding. In the past month and a half I have been to amazing places with the amazing friends I've made. I've been to churches in both New Jersey and Pennsylvania. I have been to a gay bar in Philly, I've been to a Menonite Hymn Sing in Germantown, PA. I've watched friends preach at their field ed placements. I've sung Karaoke at a bar and I've been to Broad Street in Philly.
I have connected with amazing people that I am so glad have become a part of my life. I know that Seminary would be a whole different experience without these people in my life. I've spent many nights up late into the night just talking with friends. I've spent many nights watching movies with friends. There are people here, that I have known for only three months, that know me better than people that have known me for years. I cannot wait for what the next three years have in store for me.
Where else do you hear things like "I may be a pastor but I make this look damn sexy" or "I was expecting a Bonhoeffer lecture and I got 'Don't rape your neighbor'!" or "Baptize me in holy resolve" or "only in seminary can you segue from Hebrew to Beyonce"!
Every new experience I have reminds me how much #iloveseminary
Prior to coming to seminary I think I had an idea of what seminary would be like because of all the time I've spent with friends that were seminarians, and just hanging out at BU's School of Theology and Harvard Divinity School. I pictured seminary as a welcoming place. An accepting a place. A place where theological differences can be brought to the table and discussed in a respectful and meaningful way. More or less, I realize now that I dreamed it would be the polar opposite of my undergraduate experience.
Princeton Theological Seminary, thus far, has far surpassed my expectations. I have met so many amazing people here and I am meeting new people daily. I have found myself a group of friends that allowed me to come into their fold. I have found people that are warm and welcoming, opening and accepting, interesting and loving, intelligent and fun. I have found a community that comes from all kinds of theological backgrounds that are able to come to the table and have frank respectful conversations about where we come from and where we are going.
I came to Seminary and dove right into things. Since the semester started, I have joined BGLASS (and helped plan the opening worship), helped plan the intercultural cafe (which is this Thursday so anyone in the Princeton, NJ area should come out), and plan to get involved with the Interfaith Network of Understanding. In the past month and a half I have been to amazing places with the amazing friends I've made. I've been to churches in both New Jersey and Pennsylvania. I have been to a gay bar in Philly, I've been to a Menonite Hymn Sing in Germantown, PA. I've watched friends preach at their field ed placements. I've sung Karaoke at a bar and I've been to Broad Street in Philly.
I have connected with amazing people that I am so glad have become a part of my life. I know that Seminary would be a whole different experience without these people in my life. I've spent many nights up late into the night just talking with friends. I've spent many nights watching movies with friends. There are people here, that I have known for only three months, that know me better than people that have known me for years. I cannot wait for what the next three years have in store for me.
Where else do you hear things like "I may be a pastor but I make this look damn sexy" or "I was expecting a Bonhoeffer lecture and I got 'Don't rape your neighbor'!" or "Baptize me in holy resolve" or "only in seminary can you segue from Hebrew to Beyonce"!
Every new experience I have reminds me how much #iloveseminary
Friday, March 4, 2011
I did It!
In the event that my last post was confusing, allow me to explain: I "have been accepted into candidacy for the Master of Divinity - M.Div. program starting in the Fall Term of the 2011-2012 Academic Year." Last week I had received the letter telling me that it could take up to six weeks to get notification, and I have been checking the website daily, so I was not expecting anything. David's mom came by campus to bring me mail on her way to the library and Low and Behold amongst my mail was a letter from Princeton Theological Seminary! I opened it and once I read the word "Congratulations!" I screamed. I'm not going to say that I had a mature response. I screamed...multiple times. I have been praying and praying for this to happen and oh my goodness my prayers have been answered.
The first person to know was Jenn (David's mother) because she was there when I opened it. I then called David and left a voicemail. Once he called me back I did a little more celebrating. I told my two best friends on campus and then my favorite professor, Mr. Adam Ingano. He wrote one of my recommendation letters so I went and interrupted his class to tell him. I called my grandmother's house and left a message for my mother and grandmother. Then I told David's father and sister. I called my brother and told him and then I called my sister. I figured I had all of the people who would skin my alive if they had to find out second hand or by facebook, so I posted it online. After that started the texts.: My boss, Alexander (see previous post about the only other person applying to grad school), the Dean of Students (he has asked every day if I had heard), my advisor (who was in the hospital and appreciated the text), my uncle, one of the people in Boston I used to live with, a few on campus friends, my camp friends, and a few other random people. I also emailed the secretary of my CPM to let CPM know. I also emailed someone that I am close to on Boston's COM who has been in conversation with me about seminary options. Hopefully I covered everyone.
Possibly the best reaction I received as from my friend Kelly. Kelly is a senior in high school and has been like a little sister to me for years. She got accepted to an amazing music college in NYC and we had talked about the very real possibility of getting together regularly if I got into Princeton. I sent her a text to let her know that I got in and that we are going to have fun together next year and her response was "HOLY BALLS CONGRATULATIOOOOOOONS! Oh man I can't wait for next Year!!" Clearly the best response.
For the first time I feel that my family is actually proud of me. I've always felt like an outcast in my family and that they never were really proud of anything I have done. I'm going into ministry and as a much of lapsed catholics they do not really understand that. They pretty much want me to get a job that will pay. If I had decided to go to Louisville or some other seminary they would probably pretend to be supportive but the fact that Princeton is a name that people know is something that they can be proud of. My mother can now say that her daughter is going to Princeton. When I told my brother yesterday he said "we always knew the smart one." When we were younger that was used to make fun of me, but now it's morphed into an actual complement. When he said it there was no sarcasm or malice. My mother said (via text) "I always knew u was the smartest!" and "so proud of u luv u" and "It is all u girl u did it by urself and u deserve it". It made me feel good to read that! I have worked for this and I achieved it. I haven't had the best relationship with my mother, but I'm working on it. To hear that she is proud of me is something I've needed to hear for years.
The first person to know was Jenn (David's mother) because she was there when I opened it. I then called David and left a voicemail. Once he called me back I did a little more celebrating. I told my two best friends on campus and then my favorite professor, Mr. Adam Ingano. He wrote one of my recommendation letters so I went and interrupted his class to tell him. I called my grandmother's house and left a message for my mother and grandmother. Then I told David's father and sister. I called my brother and told him and then I called my sister. I figured I had all of the people who would skin my alive if they had to find out second hand or by facebook, so I posted it online. After that started the texts.: My boss, Alexander (see previous post about the only other person applying to grad school), the Dean of Students (he has asked every day if I had heard), my advisor (who was in the hospital and appreciated the text), my uncle, one of the people in Boston I used to live with, a few on campus friends, my camp friends, and a few other random people. I also emailed the secretary of my CPM to let CPM know. I also emailed someone that I am close to on Boston's COM who has been in conversation with me about seminary options. Hopefully I covered everyone.
Possibly the best reaction I received as from my friend Kelly. Kelly is a senior in high school and has been like a little sister to me for years. She got accepted to an amazing music college in NYC and we had talked about the very real possibility of getting together regularly if I got into Princeton. I sent her a text to let her know that I got in and that we are going to have fun together next year and her response was "HOLY BALLS CONGRATULATIOOOOOOONS! Oh man I can't wait for next Year!!" Clearly the best response.
For the first time I feel that my family is actually proud of me. I've always felt like an outcast in my family and that they never were really proud of anything I have done. I'm going into ministry and as a much of lapsed catholics they do not really understand that. They pretty much want me to get a job that will pay. If I had decided to go to Louisville or some other seminary they would probably pretend to be supportive but the fact that Princeton is a name that people know is something that they can be proud of. My mother can now say that her daughter is going to Princeton. When I told my brother yesterday he said "we always knew the smart one." When we were younger that was used to make fun of me, but now it's morphed into an actual complement. When he said it there was no sarcasm or malice. My mother said (via text) "I always knew u was the smartest!" and "so proud of u luv u" and "It is all u girl u did it by urself and u deserve it". It made me feel good to read that! I have worked for this and I achieved it. I haven't had the best relationship with my mother, but I'm working on it. To hear that she is proud of me is something I've needed to hear for years.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
mea culpa
I feel like I have been saying sorry a lot lately. The thing is most of the time, I am simply doing it to appease people. I am not actually sorry. I am sorry for the long break in between posts. That I really am sorry for. I mean to blog more often but stupid life and stupid drama take up way too much of my time.
Apparently I have changed. Someone told me today that "the usual you wouldn't have done that". That got me to thinking...The usual me? Who is the usual me? How can someone tell me what the usual me is? Shouldn't I know the usual me more than anyone? And besides all that, change is good.
The fall semester of my senior year of college just ended. One semester left until I am no longer a college student. One semester left until I have finished my 4 year sentence. one semester until I am hopefully becoming a seminarian. Reflecting on the fact that I have one semester left freaks me out. I really need to buckle down! No more playing around, no more procrastination. It's all about hitting the books next semester.
I have decided that there are certain changes in my life I need to make. No longer can I jerk around and then do everything at the last second. (Yes, I know this will take a LOT of work, but I'm going to start). I am also extraordinarily sick of drama. I am sick of being dragged into the drama of people's lives. I am sick of being surrounded by toxic relationships. My own relationship is perfectly amazing and I have hardly any drama in my own life so I am official done with other people's drama rubbing off on me. Enough!
I am also surrounding myself with more people, but at the same time engaging in hermitism. I have expanded my circle of friends and have begun hanging out with people I have not hung out with in a very long time. I am surrounding myself with all types of people and I enjoy it. At the same time I value alone time. Part of me wishes I were a hermit. Therefore I will create an equal balance of socialising and being by myself. I get stuff done when I have alone time. So next semester I will randomly escape to my dorm room and hide there for a night or for a weekend. I get too overwhelmed when I am surrounded by people 24/7. If I randomly disappear do not get angry, but get used to it.
Ch-ch-ch-Changes!
Apparently I have changed. Someone told me today that "the usual you wouldn't have done that". That got me to thinking...The usual me? Who is the usual me? How can someone tell me what the usual me is? Shouldn't I know the usual me more than anyone? And besides all that, change is good.
The fall semester of my senior year of college just ended. One semester left until I am no longer a college student. One semester left until I have finished my 4 year sentence. one semester until I am hopefully becoming a seminarian. Reflecting on the fact that I have one semester left freaks me out. I really need to buckle down! No more playing around, no more procrastination. It's all about hitting the books next semester.
I have decided that there are certain changes in my life I need to make. No longer can I jerk around and then do everything at the last second. (Yes, I know this will take a LOT of work, but I'm going to start). I am also extraordinarily sick of drama. I am sick of being dragged into the drama of people's lives. I am sick of being surrounded by toxic relationships. My own relationship is perfectly amazing and I have hardly any drama in my own life so I am official done with other people's drama rubbing off on me. Enough!
I am also surrounding myself with more people, but at the same time engaging in hermitism. I have expanded my circle of friends and have begun hanging out with people I have not hung out with in a very long time. I am surrounding myself with all types of people and I enjoy it. At the same time I value alone time. Part of me wishes I were a hermit. Therefore I will create an equal balance of socialising and being by myself. I get stuff done when I have alone time. So next semester I will randomly escape to my dorm room and hide there for a night or for a weekend. I get too overwhelmed when I am surrounded by people 24/7. If I randomly disappear do not get angry, but get used to it.
Ch-ch-ch-Changes!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Danger Will Robinson
Today is one of those days where people should avoid me at all costs. There is a large chance that if the wrong person says the wrong thing I will snap. Now mind you, I am not a violent person, but I can be a huge B*tch when provoked. And today is one of those days.
The worst part is, I'm not even sure why I am like this. No, wait, that
might be a lie. There is a lot of crap going on in my life currently and it's
all bottling up. Normally this mood is like a hangover, and I can just sleep it
off. Apparently not today. I had a dream this morning that just made things
worse. So I have been staying with my boyfriend's family when I am not at
school. It was initially only supposed to be for a few weeks. Last night his mom
told me that she wants me to move out the week after graduation. so I have to
find somewhere to live at that point. That is what sort of allowed all of my
negative emotions to rise to the service. While texting with my boyfriend last
night he asked me what was wrong and this was my response
"The fact that my friends hate each other and I am stuck in the middle
being a horrible friend to at least some one at all times. The fact that one of
those friends has decided that if he doesn't take time off next semester and
leave the country he will kill himself (and that i am the only one that knows).
The fact that I don't know what the hell I'm doing come graduation. The fact
that I have to take 28 credits next semester in order to graduate. The fact that
my mother is suddenly appearing and trying to be every type of mother she never was I have no (expletive) clue how to approach that or respond. The fact that the head of my department has decided to start trying to convert me and is giving me a hard time for everything AND informed me, in class, yesterday that he will give me a hard time until I graduate. And I can't talk to friends because either they don't care or are in part the cause of my distress."
Like I said normally I can just sleep and the emotions go away. That's how it normally works. That is my normal coping technique. I avoid them and they go away. Yeah it's probably not healthy, but it works for me. I should probably add that I avoid confrontation AT ALL COSTS!!!!!! There was too much of it when I was a kid and so I try to have none in my adult life. I blast some music and drift off to sleep and I wake up and it's all better. That did NOT work this time. I put on some evanescence and went to sleep. I woke up this morning from a dream and the dream I had had only made the emotions, the thoughts, the everything worse. Which is why I reason it would be a good idea to stay away today. I feel bad because at least one of my friends is trying to talk to me. Problem is she's one of the Friends mentioned in the text to David (boyfriend).
So I can't tell her the extent of what is bothering me. So I only told her about
the dream. This is what I explained The dream: I had a dream where my father and I were with my grandfather. I couldn't see his face the entire time because I don't remember what he looks like. So it was a blur instead of his face. We were in his condo or something and getting along really well. At first it was awkward but in the end I was sitting next to him on the couch and like rested my head on his shoulder. But that dream could never take place. Mainly because my dead is dead! And also because he would have never been in the same place as his father.
You have to understand about my family. I don't really remember my grandfather. I found his address on google a few months ago and I've been wanting to write, but to be honest I am afraid too. I don't really know the extent of what happened. Mainly because everyone treats me like a little kid and tell me absolutely nothing. I'll be 22 in 6 days, time to treat me like an adult, but that's a tale for another time I suppose. I'm not sure what happened between my dad and my grandfather but it was huge. I've heard rumors but no one has ever said directly "this is what happened". I do know I haven't seen my grandfather in a long long time. He didn't even come to Dad's funeral. I have one memory and that is of my cousin Timmy and I, we must have been 2-3 years old and we are sitting next to my grandfather on Christmas eve. That's it. I saw a picture of him in the slide show from my grandmother's wake in March which sort of inspired me to get in touch, but as I said I am afraid.
So I have had a craptastic week. Everything is compounding. Between school,
friends, drama, advisers, my mother, post-graduation, my messed up dreams, and the desire yet fear to know my grandfather my everything feels like it will
crumble if the wind blows. I advise keeping your distance today. Hopefully
tomorrow my coping mechanisms will get their act together and work.
The worst part is, I'm not even sure why I am like this. No, wait, that
might be a lie. There is a lot of crap going on in my life currently and it's
all bottling up. Normally this mood is like a hangover, and I can just sleep it
off. Apparently not today. I had a dream this morning that just made things
worse. So I have been staying with my boyfriend's family when I am not at
school. It was initially only supposed to be for a few weeks. Last night his mom
told me that she wants me to move out the week after graduation. so I have to
find somewhere to live at that point. That is what sort of allowed all of my
negative emotions to rise to the service. While texting with my boyfriend last
night he asked me what was wrong and this was my response
"The fact that my friends hate each other and I am stuck in the middle
being a horrible friend to at least some one at all times. The fact that one of
those friends has decided that if he doesn't take time off next semester and
leave the country he will kill himself (and that i am the only one that knows).
The fact that I don't know what the hell I'm doing come graduation. The fact
that I have to take 28 credits next semester in order to graduate. The fact that
my mother is suddenly appearing and trying to be every type of mother she never was I have no (expletive) clue how to approach that or respond. The fact that the head of my department has decided to start trying to convert me and is giving me a hard time for everything AND informed me, in class, yesterday that he will give me a hard time until I graduate. And I can't talk to friends because either they don't care or are in part the cause of my distress."
Like I said normally I can just sleep and the emotions go away. That's how it normally works. That is my normal coping technique. I avoid them and they go away. Yeah it's probably not healthy, but it works for me. I should probably add that I avoid confrontation AT ALL COSTS!!!!!! There was too much of it when I was a kid and so I try to have none in my adult life. I blast some music and drift off to sleep and I wake up and it's all better. That did NOT work this time. I put on some evanescence and went to sleep. I woke up this morning from a dream and the dream I had had only made the emotions, the thoughts, the everything worse. Which is why I reason it would be a good idea to stay away today. I feel bad because at least one of my friends is trying to talk to me. Problem is she's one of the Friends mentioned in the text to David (boyfriend).
So I can't tell her the extent of what is bothering me. So I only told her about
the dream. This is what I explained The dream: I had a dream where my father and I were with my grandfather. I couldn't see his face the entire time because I don't remember what he looks like. So it was a blur instead of his face. We were in his condo or something and getting along really well. At first it was awkward but in the end I was sitting next to him on the couch and like rested my head on his shoulder. But that dream could never take place. Mainly because my dead is dead! And also because he would have never been in the same place as his father.
You have to understand about my family. I don't really remember my grandfather. I found his address on google a few months ago and I've been wanting to write, but to be honest I am afraid too. I don't really know the extent of what happened. Mainly because everyone treats me like a little kid and tell me absolutely nothing. I'll be 22 in 6 days, time to treat me like an adult, but that's a tale for another time I suppose. I'm not sure what happened between my dad and my grandfather but it was huge. I've heard rumors but no one has ever said directly "this is what happened". I do know I haven't seen my grandfather in a long long time. He didn't even come to Dad's funeral. I have one memory and that is of my cousin Timmy and I, we must have been 2-3 years old and we are sitting next to my grandfather on Christmas eve. That's it. I saw a picture of him in the slide show from my grandmother's wake in March which sort of inspired me to get in touch, but as I said I am afraid.
So I have had a craptastic week. Everything is compounding. Between school,
friends, drama, advisers, my mother, post-graduation, my messed up dreams, and the desire yet fear to know my grandfather my everything feels like it will
crumble if the wind blows. I advise keeping your distance today. Hopefully
tomorrow my coping mechanisms will get their act together and work.
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