I am sick of this stupid holiday! I am sick of the commercialism!! I am sick of presents! I am sick of Walmart! I am sick of the countdowns! I am sick of all of the annoying emails about over night shipping! I am Sick of the fat white guy! I am sick of elves! I want to become a jehovah's witness this year. They don't deal with the stupid presents and the celebrations. Can't we just have church and a meal together? Why does it focus around the gifts?

Perhaps it's that all the gift giving reminds me of how poor I am. Tomorrow when you open the crappy present I got you maybe you'll understand why I've been down lately. The homemade presents and the crappy cheap presents. They suck! I'm sorry.

I leave for Africa in 3 days and I have no money to spend in the country. I'm supposed to start taking malaria mess tomorrow. Looks like that won't be happening because I don't have the $100 they cost. I don't know what to do. My bank account is at -$180 right now.

This year I want to skip christmas. I want to skip the presents and the commercialism. The constant reminder of my empty bank account hurt. I want to keep the Christ in Christmas this year. Yeah it's for selfish reasons. Yeah I'm a jerk. It's okay I'll get malaria soon.

Bah humbug

Christmas.
I love Christmas.
I love the lights. I love the songs. I love the spirit. I love the Church services.
I love Christmas.

I know that Christmas is supposed to be all about Jesus. We are celebrating the Birth of Jesus (though it may or may not be during the right season, but that's a debate for a different time). During Christmas we are supposed to celebrate the birth of our Savior. The commercialism has made me not like Christmas anymore.

Commercialism sucks to begin with. Hallmark and all of the malls and superstores own Christmas. It has gotten to the point where they are setting up their displays in AUGUST!!!!! It's just wrong. Christmas should not be all about the presents and the spending of money. I hate it this year more than ever. This has been my poorest year ever. My bank account is nill and things keep coming up that take away the very little money I did have.

When you are having a hard time getting presents for all the people on your list to begin with, the uber commercialism makes you feel like shit. Can't afford the new thing this year, cant afford presents for everyone, cant afford what you think people really deserve.

Christmas is in 3 days. I've bought 2 presents. After work today I have to brave the crowds and try to go shopping with the little money I have. Too bad nowhere in the area sells myrrh.