I have learned many things during my first year of seminary. I have learned that coffee is the best way to make it through the long nights of finals. I have learned the best way to make caramel popcorn for 400 people for BGLASS carnival. I have learned how to transport a couch on top of a car without ropes. And I have learned how to read the New Testament in its original Greek, organize a worship service, how to help parishioners dealing with marital problems and how to work with nonprofits. Through my experiences in classes, in conversations with my fellow students outside of classes, and through volunteering with local churches and organizations, I have been presented with numerous rewarding experiences and trials. Seminary has been difficult. Leaving Atlantic Union College I was in no way prepared for the academic rigor that Princeton has presented me with, but I continue to strive alongside my classmates.  I am looking forward to the experiences that I will have this summer while doing field education and what the next two years have in store for me. 

Theologians on Twitter

Some of the best humorous quips are provided on twitter. Within 140 Characters you are forced to sum up what you are trying to say. It has become home of witty one-liners. The hastags of twitter have extended into our everyday lives. Sometimes the tweets come best when you are attempting to avoid work you have to do, like this epic exchange between a Friend and I:

• Me: #letsgetdowntobusiness
• T: #todefeatthehuns ?
• Me: Did they send me Calvin when I asked for Tertullian?
• T: You're the least Reformed bunch I've ever met, but you can bet before we're through, minister I'll get some Barth out of you!
• Me: Must be as swift as Athanasius/ with all the force of the Nicene Creed/with all the strength of Augustine's writin'.
• T: Mysterious as the writer of Hebrews!!!
• Me: Kant is racing towards until Christ arrives!
• T: Heed Calvin's Institutes, and you might not backslide

Discerning Our Calls

This week I have been thinking about my call and how it is intimately intertwined with service and social justice. I was asked to speak to a group of prospective students about discerning your call with emphasis placed on social justice and service. I find this slightly difficult because I am still discerning my call so how can I tell someone else how to discern his or hers? I have eight months of seminary under my belt and taking it day by day. I am a member of a group of students dedicated to social justice and sustainable community engagement. I want to volunteer and I want to get others interested in volunteering…but what does that have to do with my call?

For me, the first step in this was determining what I truly care about. There are so many important things that interest me like tutoring and literacy, but what is closest to my heart? What motivates me? I realized that for me there are two things: homelessness and LGBTQ teens and young adults. Unfortunately, these issues tend to go hand and hand.

So what does this mean for my call? Well, first it means that I am doing this now to connect myself with this. Last semester I spent a number of Saturday nights in Philadelphia volunteering at a drop in center for LGBTQ young adults helping out with personal care kits and anything else they needed and volunteering at different World AIDS day events. I am going through training to become a volunteer for the Trevor project 800 hotline and setting up a partnership between our group on campus BGLASS and the Triad-House (a home in Trenton for homeless, abused, and neglect LGBT teens). These things are not to brag about what I have done but rather because I believe that, your call is firmly rooted in your past. And the service and social justice that we are passionate about. I feel called to congregational ministry, but a congregational ministry that has an interest in these things.

Grades and Internships

Oh Good Lord, I just realized that I have not blogged in forever and a day! The Fall semester has ended, and I am anxiously awaiting my grades. Really, I am anxiously awaiting the grade for my Old Testament class. There's a chance I failed and will have to retake it next year. This class made me realize that my college did not prepare me for the academic world. I did not know how to be a student prior to this semester, and I am still trying to figure out the proper way to be a student. I never had to study in college because everything was so slow and so easy so I did not  have studying skills down. We also didn't have huge finals where I had to study endlessly. I will be upset if I have to take the class a second time, however with my previous academic background being taken into consideration I won't be overly distraught. On the plus side, if I do have to retake it, I will ace it the second time around.

I head back to Princeton on Sunday for the Fall Short term. I am taking a class called Church and State of Modern Europe. I didn't realize that modern does not actually mean today it means late 1700s- early 1800s. I am not too interested in the class, but such is life.

The big thing I am currently working on is field ed placements. I am trying to find a place for summer and for the 2012-2013 academic year. I am willing to go pretty much anywhere in the country and work almost anywhere the fulfills the field ed requirement. I thought I only wanted to do a church placement but I realize that other placements could be interesting as well. I'm doing a lot of googling trying to find something for the summer. A lot of my searches include some combination of "Church Summer Internship PCUSA". I've not really found anything yet but I'm still looking. I would love to do a church placement or something completely different involving public policy, amendment 10A, gender right, equality, hunger issues, social justice, ecumenical relations....

All in All it's Awesome!

I have not posted in what feels like forever and a day. Life at seminary is pure chaos right now. The semester ends in 3 weeks which means that I have a lot of work to do! All kinds of papers and projects to get done and a final to study for. I'm pretty sure the only sit down final I have is for Old Testament and if I don't kick ass on that final I'll be stuck retaking Old Testament next year. So the next three weeks will have a large focus on the Old Testament. But that is what's coming up, What have I been up to?

I've been doing some volunteering, I've been going to churches, I've been going to meetings, and I've been living it up as a Seminarian.

Volunteering: Last month I went with a group from Community Presbyterian Church of Sand Hills to volunteer at a soup kitchen in Trenton. Trenton has a huge issue with poverty that is going massively overlooked. It's the capital of New Jersey and yet no one is paying attention. Last week David and I drove into Philly and volunteered at the Q-spot. The Q-Spot is a ministry of Broad Street Ministries that provides a place every other saturday for LGBTQ teens and young adults (18-25) to receive a meal, fellowship, personal care kits, counseling, mail services, Rapid HIV and Syphilis testing, and a warm place for a few hours. Homelessness within the young LGBTQ population in Philly is a large problem and it will only be getting worse unfortunately. I am headed back to Broad Street on Thursday to volunteer at their World Aid's Day event and then nest Saturday for the final Q-Spot of the year. I love Broad Street!

Speaking of Philly...I have field education lines up for the summer. I'll be commuting to Philly all summer where I will be serving as a chaplain at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I am super excited. I will be the only student this summer which will make it pretty intense. It is a trauma 1 hospital and the #1 Pediatric Hospital in the world (tied with Boston's Children's). I will be working with patients of all different faith backgrounds and I requested to meet with the Imam on my first day because I do not know very much about the traditions that apply to this setting, within Islam. I will pick a specialty and work directly with that wing of the hospital and respond to all calls. The only negative part is that I have to wait until May to get started!

Churches: Whenever one of my friends is preaching somewhere, that is where I go to Worship. So far I have seen Andy preach at Broad Street (this summer), David preach at Sand Hills, Jon preach at Newtown, Pam preach in Pennington and yesterday I saw Brittany preach at the Princeton University Chapel. Next Sunday I'm off to see/hear Chad preach at Westminster and Carson will preach there the following Sunday. When I don't have a friend preaching on a particular Sunday, I've been attending the Community Presbyterian Church of Sand Hills.

Meetings: I love BGLASS meetings. It is such a randomly amazing group of people and we are both completely serious and not at all. Last week the meeting started with me fighting to open a bag of mangoes and people making fun of me because I couldn't open it. We discuss in great detail glitter and tie dye but we also get down to the real topics like planning panels on same-sex marriage and amendment 10A. We have a lot of amazing things in the works for the Spring semester. I've also been working with a group fellow seminarians (with the guidance of Wayne Meisel) to figure out how to get seminarians to partake in sustainable social engagement. We are currently examining the issues of the areas around us, focusing greatly on Trenton and figuring out which issues we can work on.

Seminary: Yep, I'm still in love with Seminary. Classes have gotten hard and there has been many times where I have questioned why I was accepted but I know there is a reason and I know I can do it. I have formed amazing relationships with people here. There have been some awesome parties, some awesome nights out and some awesome random explorations of the area. All in All it's awesome! :)

As of Yet Untitled

Tonight, at Princeton Theological Seminary, was the intercultural cafe. For the first time ever 5 student groups came together to put on this event. BGLASS, AAPTS, ABS, ALS, and WC but on an amazing evening, if I do say so myself (I helped with the planning). We had an open mic portion with performances of poetry, song and spoken word. My friends, Chad and Jason, preformed a short story written by David Sedaris which was phenomenal! Pam sang Mr. Cellophane (from Chicago) and Ryan read a poem in Spanish and English. There were many other truly amazing pieces as well.

I shocked myself by emerging from my shell and sharing a truly personal piece that I have written. The reaction to it was great from my friends that were there. When I stood at the mic I felt like my heart was chilling out somewhere by my toes and even after preforming I felt like my heart my come up out of my mouth. It has been a few hours since I preformed it and I am still nervous about it. I have never done anything this personal in public before. Since it has already been shared with the world, I might as well post it here.

They tell me that twenty two is too young to write

There’s still so much you’ve yet to see

You haven’t been married

You have no kids

What could you possibly have to say?

Twenty two may be too young to write

But me, I’m learning to start living life

You don’t have to read and you don’t have to care

But I have stories that I’m going to share

The story of a scared little girl

In a cold dark world

The story of the preteen who watches her beloved Daddy

Try to end his life

On the same same night her brother pulled out a knife

The story of a ten year old who runs away from home

Only to discover that no one knows

The story of a teenage girl clinging to anyone just to feel loved

I can tell you all about the day I walked through the metal detectors

To find the D, the Y, the K, the E carved into my locker

I can tell you about being a confused teen trying to be perfect yet wanting to love

I can tell you about the outsider in high school

The one who wore long sleeves and  pants in july to hide the wounds

About the college student reflecting on love

About being different in a conservative Christian realm

Where true thoughts are repressed to avoid the backlash

I have stories about being avoided because you’re gay

When you don’t identify yourself that way

But now, now  I have new stories

Stories of acceptance and of welcome

Tales of friends and truly amazing hugs

So yes, I have stories

Stories of pain and oppression

Stories of struggle and self-hate

Stories of acceptance and victory

Stories of growth and love

But of course, They say twenty two is too young to write

BGLASS Worship

BGLASS Worship was phenomenal. It was exciting to be a part of such an amazing worship service. We focused on the beatitudes and figuring out our roles as the salt of the earth. We read scripture, we sang and we lit candles. The amazing David Norse preached and his words truly touched me. After the service I told him that I had wished that the 14-year old me had been able to hear it. Heck, he talked about things that the 22-year old me is still fighting to deal with.
I think I truly appreciated that so many people turned out for the BGLASS worship because something like that would not occur in many other settings that I have been in. On top of that, just as the service was starting we saw police cruiser and a fire truck on the quad. I was worried that it would interfere with worship but people came in. The Seminary's President, a few professors and the campus chaplain were in the chapel worshiping with us. It is great to see and truly realize that I am in a welcoming and embracing community.
During the service, as our offering we wrote down what our personal goal is for the year, what we plan on working on, how we plan on showing our light. Personally for me, I want to learn to be more true to myself so that I can figure out how to show my light to others and help them do the same. I love BGLASS

#iloveseminary

People laugh when I tell them how much I love seminary. I know it sounds a bit ridiculous but I am literally in love with this place and these people.

 Prior to coming to seminary I think I had an idea of what seminary would be like because of all the time I've spent with friends that were seminarians, and just hanging out at BU's School of Theology and Harvard Divinity School. I pictured seminary as a welcoming place. An accepting a place. A place where theological differences can be brought to the table and discussed in a respectful and meaningful way. More or less, I realize now that I dreamed it would be the polar opposite of my undergraduate experience.

Princeton Theological Seminary, thus far, has far surpassed my expectations. I have met so many amazing people here and I am meeting new people daily. I have found myself a group of friends that allowed me to come into their fold. I have found people that are warm and welcoming, opening and accepting, interesting and loving, intelligent and fun. I have found a community that comes from all kinds of theological backgrounds that are able to come to the table and have frank respectful conversations about where we come from and where we are going.

I came to Seminary and dove right into things. Since the semester started, I have joined BGLASS (and helped plan the opening worship), helped plan the intercultural cafe (which is this Thursday so anyone in the Princeton, NJ area should come out), and plan to get involved with the Interfaith Network of Understanding. In the past month and a half I have been to amazing places with the amazing friends I've made. I've been to churches in both New Jersey and Pennsylvania. I have been to a gay bar in Philly, I've been to a Menonite Hymn Sing in Germantown, PA. I've watched friends preach at their field ed placements. I've sung Karaoke at a bar and I've been to Broad Street in Philly.

I have connected with amazing people that I am so glad have become a part of my life. I know that Seminary would be a whole different experience without these people in my life. I've spent many nights up late into the night just talking with friends. I've spent many nights watching movies with friends. There are people here, that I have known for only three months, that know me better than people that have known me for years. I cannot wait for what the next three years have in store for me.

Where else do you hear things like "I may be a pastor but I make this look damn sexy" or "I was expecting a Bonhoeffer lecture and I got 'Don't rape your neighbor'!" or "Baptize me in holy resolve" or "only in seminary can you segue from Hebrew to Beyonce"!

Every new experience I have reminds me how much #iloveseminary

Update on Life in Seminary

I'm going to take a break from my New Testament Exegesis homework to update the world on my life. Okay, honestly, I have not started the Exegesis homework...but I will get to it. I have not blogged in eons so I thought I would remedy that. 

Where to begin?

Princeton Theological Seminary is amazing and I am so glad I came here! The people are amazing, the classes are amazing, the professors are amazing, and everything is so amazing! I am being completely serious, but allow me to elaborate. As i have said previously, the people here are phenomenal. Since the fall semester is underway, I have met even more people and I am just impressed with the high caliber of people here. Everyone is awesome for his or her own reasons but all in all everyone is great. In addition, it's not just students. The faculty and staff are great too. I am particularly in love with David Wall, the registrar. He helped me get everything together so I could register and stay when it looked like everything was going to hell in a hand basket. He is amazing and helpful and friends with Burns.

The classes are intense and it is quite evident that AUC did not prepare me for this. I clearly have a bachelor's in bullshit! I have a 20 page paper due in 3 weeks and I have never written a paper that long before. The writing center is going to become my best friend! There is a lot of reading and everything is more intense that it was in college and I am going to struggle but I will make it work and I will learn so much.

I have attended karaoke night at the IVY a couple of times so far and that is overly entertaining. I have been to a party at one of the private clubs at the University. I have attended Shark Week and my first hall party (big fan of Brown 2). I have made so many phenomenal friends already. One great thing I have experienced is joining a club. 

Tonight I attended the first meeting of BGLASS (which stands for Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Supporters). We talked about the many different events that will be taking place this year. Amazing things like attending a Mennonite hymn sing, opening worship an intercultural café, events with the covenant Presbyterians and the Yes Coalition (and maybe GLAAD, service projects, BGLASS week, hosting forums on the OT and the NT as well as the possibility of getting together with Princeton University as well as the Westminster Choir College. I am incredibly excited to be involved with this. In fact, I sort of dove right in and will be helping with opening worship as well as representing BGLASS in working on the Intercultural Café with other campus groups. BGLASS is essentially everything that I wished I had in college. I am extra excited and thankful for this in my life as I am struggling to figure out my life.

Life Experience

I think I'm having a not quite a quarter life crisis.
Being here at Princeton this summer, there have been a lot of instances where I wish that I didn't come straight here. I wish that I had taken a year off and got a job somewhere doing something ministry related and just dealing with people. I've been doing school for the past 16 years and I'm wondering if it might be time for a break. There are so many people here that took time between college and seminary and went abroad or worked for non-profits. They have life experience that they can relate to what they're learning and I don't have that.

People at PTS

I love the people at PTS. It's only summer and most of the students aren't actually on campus yet but I love everyone that I have met! There are so many different personalities here and I've ended up bonding with different people over really different things.

One of my favorite people is Liz. She's from New York but went to college in Massachusetts, so like me she has a love and an appreciation of Boston! She digs on my accent but can also understand what I'm saying. For the times that I get really emotional or have too much to drink and people can't understand me because my accent gets really thick, Liz will serve as my subtitles. She is a hardcore Sox fan and Bruins fan. She also hates full service gas stations, just like me. I have also bonded over food allergies; she's allergic to Peanuts and I'm allergic to dairy. Her allergy will kill her, mine makes me wish I were dead. We also both have overwhelming fears of both inconveniencing people and of confrontation. While talking at the Tap Room last night we also figured out that we both have issues using public bathrooms. The things you learn!

There's so many other great people here like

• Andy- The hipster from West Chester who constantly hates on Boston
• Will- The outdoors man who makes bird noises without realizing it
• Alison- The girl that will single-handed reform the food industry and make us all Kosher
• Ridgley- The charming southern gal who swears like a trucker when in parking garages. 
• Peter- The 17 year old theology prodigy who is still in high school but taking summer Greek while working on college admissions essay. Affectionately called Doogie Bonhoeffer. 
• Vincent- The Catholic entertainment lawyer from New York City
• Stan- The former orthopedic surgeon...talk about a pay cut!
• Mike- Such an interesting guy, I don't know what to say about him, he is just great even if he won't admit that there is a ghost living next door to him. 
• Amy- my lovely next door neighbor who constantly fears she wakes me up and speaks approximately 12 languages (slight exaggeration). 

That's just a small sampling of people here. Everyone is so great and I've been engaged in and observing the most interesting conversations. I cannot wait to see what the next three years brings. 

I Give Myself Away

If I am being perfectly honest with myself, and whoever is reading this, I am scared about tomorrow. After Greek tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment. We are going to evaluate the results of last week's blood work and do some more blood work. The doctor is supposed to tell me whether or not I have to go see an endocrinologist. As I have said before this is a perfectly shitty time for this to be happening. I'm in class everyday and the class is kicking my ass so having something big distract my already distractable mind is bad.
On top of that the people I love and that I ordinarily have around me to lean on are five hours away. David called me while I was in church (we went to Broad Street Ministries to hear Andy preach and I absolutely fell in love with the place. I want to go back many times. It's what I was looking for. But a post will come later about that.), and so after the service I called him back. It was very difficult to talk because I was practically running through Philly, felt like I was going to be sick, and was surrounded by people. There was all kinds of things I wanted to talk to him about and things I wanted to hear about. I felt like I was being a crappy girl friend because I haven't gotten to speak to him all weekend. He felt like he was bothering me and intruding, which he wasn't at all, it's just difficult to have a conversation as I am trying to hurry through a city with people that don't know what is going on.
I was thinking of going to talk to the campus chaplain lady. Part of it is because I'm just freaking out in a huge way. I have never had any serious health problems. I've broken bones. I've gotten a concussion. I have sprained and twisted and dislocated things. I had a while where I had to go to physical therapy for my knee. I've never been faced with a disease before. I've never possibly had an on going medical condition. Well, I suppose that is not true. If I do have something it's not like I just developed it today, I've possibly had it for a while and just not known about it.
 Going to two services today (Nassau Presbyterian in the morning and Broad Street Ministries this evening) gave me time to reflect. In a way this is a bit like when Dad died. I know that sounds extreme but hear me out. I was a freshman in college and had decided to switch schools and major in theology. I was fully prepared to serve God and do whatever God deemed me fit to do. And then Dad died. And it made me question my faith and doubt everything I thought I knew. It was a time where I constantly wondered why I should be doing this if God is going to do horrible things in my life. Now I am smarter and hopefully I have more faith and trust in God. I'm starting Seminary. I am going to fully serve God. And a big medical event is happening. But now, I fully trust in God. I know that God is going to do what God is going to do and regardless I am a child of God and God loves me. Tonight, at Broad Street, the Song of Affirmation was "I Give Myself Away" and it really hit home for me. This is what I'm working on and though the things that are currently going on in my life may challenge me, it is all about giving myself away, putting my life in the Lord's hands and being open to being used in whatever way possible.

Chorus:
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me

Verse 1:
Here I am
Here I stand
Lord, my life is in your hands
Lord, I'm longing to see
Your desires revealed in me
I give myself away

Verse 2:
Take my heart
Take my life
As a living sacrifice
All my dreams all my plans
Lord I place them in your hands

Bridge:
My life is not my own
To you I belong
I give myself, I give myself to you

Things I learn in Greek

Today I learned that

• "Some people say learning languages should be fun, these people are LIARS!"
• "The Gender of the noun isn't a sociopolitical quality."
• "Whoever said that there are no silly questions lied."
• "It [this class] is like confession: if you don't say anything, nothing happened."

It's All Greek To Me

So I made it! It took me almost 6 hours to get to Princeton, thank you Bronx traffic, but I made it. When I got here I checked in and started moving stuff into my room. Alexander 303 is where it's at. I only ended up unloading half of my stuff because it was so blessedly hot and I had a huge headache. Unloaded my bedding and then stuff I needed for class and a bunch of clothes. I need to remember to run down to my car at some point this afternoon to get my sneakers. After unloading half of my stuff I was hot, tired, and thirsty. I decided to walk down the street to the Wawa. I had never experienced anything like it. It's like Subway meets a smoothie bar meets a cumbys. It was fantastic and I love it!

Last night there wasn't much to do so I hung in my room until there was a knock on my door and was invited to go hang out with people on the quad. I wasn't going to, because I was tired, but I'm glad I did. I got to talk to incoming students and current students. I learned different things about the school, the area and the professors. At 10:30 I wandered back to my room and read and texted with a friend back home.

Greek this morning was great. The professor seems like a really great professor. It's Greek so it will suck and Dr. P said that they are well aware that most of us do not want to be there. It's going to be a good 8 weeks even though it will be very hard. I'm meeting loads of great people and I cannot wait to meet more. I'm also enjoying exploring aimlessly.

I'm learning interesting things, which I plan to keep a list of. Here's the beginning:

• Other seminaries teach the Velveeta of Greek (bits and pieces but not the real thing)
• Some Greek authors  follow the rules and some don't...kind of like Greek bankers.

My Doctor and My Bank Account (A Saga)

Like most schools, Princeton had a medical form that I had to fill out and send in. I went to my doctor and had a physical as required. I think that may have been where my problems started. She didn't measure my height, she just asked how tall I am. She made multiple comments on how white I am. My genetic make-up is Irish and Irish. I have red hair, green eyes and freckles. Obviously I am white. I have too skin tones: Neon white and Lobster Red (saved for Sunburns, embarrassment, and anger). Would you prefer I go tan and get skin cancer?

So apparently I've not gotten the meningitis shot so I made another appointment and went in yesterday to get it. Who knew that would be so damn difficult?  I get into my doctor's examine room and she informs me that, "I don't do that". Apparently she doesn't give meningitis vaccines. So when I asked her where I can go she told me to call the board of health. I spent yesterday afternoon on the phone with different hospitals and clinics. One won't give it to me because my doctor isn't at that clinic. This place doesn't do it, that place doesn't do it. One hospital would do it if my doctor writes a prescription for it. I called the doctor's office and she won't write a prescription. Her receptionist/nurse type person told me to call the CDC and check with them. Are you freaking kidding me? At one point a hospital transferred me up to Psychiatry. It must have been a sign that this will drive me crazy! It was easier getting the vaccine for Yellow Fever than it is for meningitis, which is REQUIRED by tons of colleges.

That is just one of the huge issues I am facing this week in light of the move next Sunday. The other...is finances...

Hopefully once I get to Princeton I will find a job and start making money pronto. I have to pay my cell phone bill and my car payment and then I will have to pay my housing deposit once I get to Princeton. Which will leave me $20 in my bank account. That $20 is to get to Jersey and then live once I get there. Not entirely sure how I can even make that happen. It will cost me more than $20 to drive from Clinton to Princeton.  Random things have popped up that I've had to pay for, like getting a new licence, new brakes on my car, gas to different Synod meetings. So all the money I thought I'd have for Princeton is gone. Time to come up with a get rich quick scheme?

A Whole New World

In less than two weeks I pack up my lovely little Subaru and hit the open road. Five hours later, if there is no traffic, I will be pulling into Princeton, New Jersey. Beginning July 10th, Princeton Theological Seminary will be my new phone for the next three years. To be perfectly honest, this is freaking me out. I don't know which part is the scariest. It might be that everything I own is going to have to fit into a station wagon, or else I have to get rid of it. The fact that a dorm room will be my only home for the next three years. My boyfriend's family has been amazing and let me stay with them sophomore year of college, and there's where I've been going on breaks, but once I take off for Princeton I will no longer have a bedroom there. My room in Alexander Hall and then my room in Hodge Hall will be where I call home.

In less than two weeks I drive out of Massachusetts and into a whole new world. As a devote Boston Sports fan, I'll be living in enemy territory. Much to my dismay I will be amongst Yankees fans. In terms of hockey, I will be in New Jersey Devils territory, but I plan to go to the Devils vs Bruins games in January and cheer on my amazing Bruins. New York Rangers games aren't too far away, so that might be a possibility.

I'm trying to focus on all of the other things going on so that I don't freak out. I think I'll make friends and I don't think I'll fail classes, though Greek scares the bejezus out of me. I will actually have to try in classes and learn things, not too much of that happened in college. I will live on a dorm where I won't be treated as a child. I won't worry about curfews or room checks. I won't have to get permission to leave over night or for the weekend. I can go out and buy alcohol and not worry about getting kicked out of school. I get to live in the grown up world now. The male population will be allowed into the building. Going to Princeton is going to be a whole new world.

Over the course of the next 12 days I need to get a meningitis shot, come up with the $150 housing deposit, get books, pack up all of my belongings, throw away belongings, wash my car, pack my car, say goodbye to people. I have 12 days left to have the adventure I was looking for. I have 12 days to find all of the Boston memorabilia I can scavenge.

In twelve days I will get in my station wagon and drive 264 miles from Clinton, Massachusetts to Princeton, New Jersey.When I pull into the parking lot at PTS, I am pulling into a whole new world. I am scared but I know that everything will be okay. I look forward to July 10, with great anxiety.

Paying for Seminary

I have been so busy lately that I have been forgetting to do a lot of things...and one of those things is blog.

Money sucks! I wish we lived in a world where everything wasn't so dependent on money. David and I have had this conversation numerous times. He agrees, the fact that our society seems to revolve around money is depressing. My brother and I got into a fight the other night. Well, by fight I mean he informed me that I am wasting my life and that I'll never make money and will therefore get divorced, and I tried to defend myself. My family does not understand the desire to be a Pastor. No matter how many times I attempt to explain it, it never sinks in. My brother apparently looked at some list of professions and the amount of money they make and ministry was at the bottom of the list. Try as I might, my brother will never understand that it is not about the money. He also read that 80% of divorces are over money. So if I follow his logic: I'll become a pastor, I won't make any money, I'll be poor, and then I will get divorced because I have no money. Sigh!

I suppose what is making me write this post is the idea of paying for Seminary. I got my award letter for this year and it depressed me. With the PTS grant and Federal Work Study, I have been awarded $13,250. That's great, but when I use the cost calculator, it's not so great. Tuition+fees+dorm+15 meal plan+books=$20,880. $20,880-$13,250=$7,630. Considering I am financially independent (I don't have anyone helping me pay for school), and already have a lot of loans from my undergraduate years, that is incredibly daunting and depressing. Considering part of what my brother said is right, ministry does not make a whole lot of money, the idea of taking more loans on is frustrating.

So right now, I am wading my way through the Internet trying to find ANY grants and scholarships that I qualify for and applying to them. I'm already in a stressing and depressed mood due to the amount of work I have to do and this new factoid is not helping at all!