All in All it's Awesome!

I have not posted in what feels like forever and a day. Life at seminary is pure chaos right now. The semester ends in 3 weeks which means that I have a lot of work to do! All kinds of papers and projects to get done and a final to study for. I'm pretty sure the only sit down final I have is for Old Testament and if I don't kick ass on that final I'll be stuck retaking Old Testament next year. So the next three weeks will have a large focus on the Old Testament. But that is what's coming up, What have I been up to?

I've been doing some volunteering, I've been going to churches, I've been going to meetings, and I've been living it up as a Seminarian.

Volunteering: Last month I went with a group from Community Presbyterian Church of Sand Hills to volunteer at a soup kitchen in Trenton. Trenton has a huge issue with poverty that is going massively overlooked. It's the capital of New Jersey and yet no one is paying attention. Last week David and I drove into Philly and volunteered at the Q-spot. The Q-Spot is a ministry of Broad Street Ministries that provides a place every other saturday for LGBTQ teens and young adults (18-25) to receive a meal, fellowship, personal care kits, counseling, mail services, Rapid HIV and Syphilis testing, and a warm place for a few hours. Homelessness within the young LGBTQ population in Philly is a large problem and it will only be getting worse unfortunately. I am headed back to Broad Street on Thursday to volunteer at their World Aid's Day event and then nest Saturday for the final Q-Spot of the year. I love Broad Street!

Speaking of Philly...I have field education lines up for the summer. I'll be commuting to Philly all summer where I will be serving as a chaplain at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I am super excited. I will be the only student this summer which will make it pretty intense. It is a trauma 1 hospital and the #1 Pediatric Hospital in the world (tied with Boston's Children's). I will be working with patients of all different faith backgrounds and I requested to meet with the Imam on my first day because I do not know very much about the traditions that apply to this setting, within Islam. I will pick a specialty and work directly with that wing of the hospital and respond to all calls. The only negative part is that I have to wait until May to get started!

Churches: Whenever one of my friends is preaching somewhere, that is where I go to Worship. So far I have seen Andy preach at Broad Street (this summer), David preach at Sand Hills, Jon preach at Newtown, Pam preach in Pennington and yesterday I saw Brittany preach at the Princeton University Chapel. Next Sunday I'm off to see/hear Chad preach at Westminster and Carson will preach there the following Sunday. When I don't have a friend preaching on a particular Sunday, I've been attending the Community Presbyterian Church of Sand Hills.

Meetings: I love BGLASS meetings. It is such a randomly amazing group of people and we are both completely serious and not at all. Last week the meeting started with me fighting to open a bag of mangoes and people making fun of me because I couldn't open it. We discuss in great detail glitter and tie dye but we also get down to the real topics like planning panels on same-sex marriage and amendment 10A. We have a lot of amazing things in the works for the Spring semester. I've also been working with a group fellow seminarians (with the guidance of Wayne Meisel) to figure out how to get seminarians to partake in sustainable social engagement. We are currently examining the issues of the areas around us, focusing greatly on Trenton and figuring out which issues we can work on.

Seminary: Yep, I'm still in love with Seminary. Classes have gotten hard and there has been many times where I have questioned why I was accepted but I know there is a reason and I know I can do it. I have formed amazing relationships with people here. There have been some awesome parties, some awesome nights out and some awesome random explorations of the area. All in All it's awesome! :)

The Face of God in Philly

Sunday evening three of my new seminary friends drove into Philly to attend service at Broad Street Ministries. I have been wanting to check out Broad Street Ministries for a very long time and when we learned that a classmate, Andy Greenhow, would be preaching, it was clear that we would be attending. I am so glad I went.
Broad Street Ministry is located on South Broad Street in Philly. It is a community that emphasizes hospitable outreach, passionate civic involvement, courageous discipleship, and creative expression. If you are anywhere near Philly, I would suggest dropping by some Sunday evening. When you walk up to the building it looks like a giant traditional church, but I'm not sure that there is anything traditional about Broad Street and that is why I liked it. 


During the service I was looking around and realized that those gathered there truly were the body of Christ. There were young people and old people. Students, professionals, and those without a job. There were people from Philly, people from other states, and people from other countries. There were black, white, asian, hispanic. There was the uneducated and the well educated. Those who are illiterate and those who have published books. There were those who came dressed up for church and those who wore what they had. There was what I feel to be every variety of person. I think I like how the BSM website puts it best, "BSM also welcomes into its body not just those who are on the margins of faith but those who are on the margins of society. The member of prestigious private clubs worships alongside the homeless person. The gay and lesbian activist passes the peace with the Pentecostal lay preacher. The possessor of a PhD. In theology prays alongside the summa cum laude graduate of the School of Hard Knocks. " All of these people, from so many different walks of life joined together with the purpose of worshiping God and sharing a meal. 


I was afraid to attend BSM. Not because I was afraid that I wouldn't like it. Not that I was afraid that I would be uncomfortable. I was afraid to attend because I was afraid I would like that, and that is exactly what happened. That is the type of worship I have been looking for. It's real. It's nitty gritty. It's not about keeping with tradition and doing things in a particular way. It is about ministering to the people and being ministered to. It's about seeing the face of God in those gathered. It isn't about inviting God into the space because God is already there and waiting for you. I felt more in touch with God and with myself, felt more convicted and felt more dedicated to Christ than I have in quite some time than I did in that short service Sunday night. 

I Give Myself Away

If I am being perfectly honest with myself, and whoever is reading this, I am scared about tomorrow. After Greek tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment. We are going to evaluate the results of last week's blood work and do some more blood work. The doctor is supposed to tell me whether or not I have to go see an endocrinologist. As I have said before this is a perfectly shitty time for this to be happening. I'm in class everyday and the class is kicking my ass so having something big distract my already distractable mind is bad.
On top of that the people I love and that I ordinarily have around me to lean on are five hours away. David called me while I was in church (we went to Broad Street Ministries to hear Andy preach and I absolutely fell in love with the place. I want to go back many times. It's what I was looking for. But a post will come later about that.), and so after the service I called him back. It was very difficult to talk because I was practically running through Philly, felt like I was going to be sick, and was surrounded by people. There was all kinds of things I wanted to talk to him about and things I wanted to hear about. I felt like I was being a crappy girl friend because I haven't gotten to speak to him all weekend. He felt like he was bothering me and intruding, which he wasn't at all, it's just difficult to have a conversation as I am trying to hurry through a city with people that don't know what is going on.
I was thinking of going to talk to the campus chaplain lady. Part of it is because I'm just freaking out in a huge way. I have never had any serious health problems. I've broken bones. I've gotten a concussion. I have sprained and twisted and dislocated things. I had a while where I had to go to physical therapy for my knee. I've never been faced with a disease before. I've never possibly had an on going medical condition. Well, I suppose that is not true. If I do have something it's not like I just developed it today, I've possibly had it for a while and just not known about it.
 Going to two services today (Nassau Presbyterian in the morning and Broad Street Ministries this evening) gave me time to reflect. In a way this is a bit like when Dad died. I know that sounds extreme but hear me out. I was a freshman in college and had decided to switch schools and major in theology. I was fully prepared to serve God and do whatever God deemed me fit to do. And then Dad died. And it made me question my faith and doubt everything I thought I knew. It was a time where I constantly wondered why I should be doing this if God is going to do horrible things in my life. Now I am smarter and hopefully I have more faith and trust in God. I'm starting Seminary. I am going to fully serve God. And a big medical event is happening. But now, I fully trust in God. I know that God is going to do what God is going to do and regardless I am a child of God and God loves me. Tonight, at Broad Street, the Song of Affirmation was "I Give Myself Away" and it really hit home for me. This is what I'm working on and though the things that are currently going on in my life may challenge me, it is all about giving myself away, putting my life in the Lord's hands and being open to being used in whatever way possible.

Chorus:
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me
I give myself away
I give myself away
So You can use me

Verse 1:
Here I am
Here I stand
Lord, my life is in your hands
Lord, I'm longing to see
Your desires revealed in me
I give myself away

Verse 2:
Take my heart
Take my life
As a living sacrifice
All my dreams all my plans
Lord I place them in your hands

Bridge:
My life is not my own
To you I belong
I give myself, I give myself to you