My Doctor and My Bank Account (A Saga)

Like most schools, Princeton had a medical form that I had to fill out and send in. I went to my doctor and had a physical as required. I think that may have been where my problems started. She didn't measure my height, she just asked how tall I am. She made multiple comments on how white I am. My genetic make-up is Irish and Irish. I have red hair, green eyes and freckles. Obviously I am white. I have too skin tones: Neon white and Lobster Red (saved for Sunburns, embarrassment, and anger). Would you prefer I go tan and get skin cancer?

So apparently I've not gotten the meningitis shot so I made another appointment and went in yesterday to get it. Who knew that would be so damn difficult?  I get into my doctor's examine room and she informs me that, "I don't do that". Apparently she doesn't give meningitis vaccines. So when I asked her where I can go she told me to call the board of health. I spent yesterday afternoon on the phone with different hospitals and clinics. One won't give it to me because my doctor isn't at that clinic. This place doesn't do it, that place doesn't do it. One hospital would do it if my doctor writes a prescription for it. I called the doctor's office and she won't write a prescription. Her receptionist/nurse type person told me to call the CDC and check with them. Are you freaking kidding me? At one point a hospital transferred me up to Psychiatry. It must have been a sign that this will drive me crazy! It was easier getting the vaccine for Yellow Fever than it is for meningitis, which is REQUIRED by tons of colleges.

That is just one of the huge issues I am facing this week in light of the move next Sunday. The other...is finances...

Hopefully once I get to Princeton I will find a job and start making money pronto. I have to pay my cell phone bill and my car payment and then I will have to pay my housing deposit once I get to Princeton. Which will leave me $20 in my bank account. That $20 is to get to Jersey and then live once I get there. Not entirely sure how I can even make that happen. It will cost me more than $20 to drive from Clinton to Princeton.  Random things have popped up that I've had to pay for, like getting a new licence, new brakes on my car, gas to different Synod meetings. So all the money I thought I'd have for Princeton is gone. Time to come up with a get rich quick scheme?

Paying for Seminary

I have been so busy lately that I have been forgetting to do a lot of things...and one of those things is blog.

Money sucks! I wish we lived in a world where everything wasn't so dependent on money. David and I have had this conversation numerous times. He agrees, the fact that our society seems to revolve around money is depressing. My brother and I got into a fight the other night. Well, by fight I mean he informed me that I am wasting my life and that I'll never make money and will therefore get divorced, and I tried to defend myself. My family does not understand the desire to be a Pastor. No matter how many times I attempt to explain it, it never sinks in. My brother apparently looked at some list of professions and the amount of money they make and ministry was at the bottom of the list. Try as I might, my brother will never understand that it is not about the money. He also read that 80% of divorces are over money. So if I follow his logic: I'll become a pastor, I won't make any money, I'll be poor, and then I will get divorced because I have no money. Sigh!

I suppose what is making me write this post is the idea of paying for Seminary. I got my award letter for this year and it depressed me. With the PTS grant and Federal Work Study, I have been awarded $13,250. That's great, but when I use the cost calculator, it's not so great. Tuition+fees+dorm+15 meal plan+books=$20,880. $20,880-$13,250=$7,630. Considering I am financially independent (I don't have anyone helping me pay for school), and already have a lot of loans from my undergraduate years, that is incredibly daunting and depressing. Considering part of what my brother said is right, ministry does not make a whole lot of money, the idea of taking more loans on is frustrating.

So right now, I am wading my way through the Internet trying to find ANY grants and scholarships that I qualify for and applying to them. I'm already in a stressing and depressed mood due to the amount of work I have to do and this new factoid is not helping at all!

I am sick of this stupid holiday! I am sick of the commercialism!! I am sick of presents! I am sick of Walmart! I am sick of the countdowns! I am sick of all of the annoying emails about over night shipping! I am Sick of the fat white guy! I am sick of elves! I want to become a jehovah's witness this year. They don't deal with the stupid presents and the celebrations. Can't we just have church and a meal together? Why does it focus around the gifts?

Perhaps it's that all the gift giving reminds me of how poor I am. Tomorrow when you open the crappy present I got you maybe you'll understand why I've been down lately. The homemade presents and the crappy cheap presents. They suck! I'm sorry.

I leave for Africa in 3 days and I have no money to spend in the country. I'm supposed to start taking malaria mess tomorrow. Looks like that won't be happening because I don't have the $100 they cost. I don't know what to do. My bank account is at -$180 right now.

This year I want to skip christmas. I want to skip the presents and the commercialism. The constant reminder of my empty bank account hurt. I want to keep the Christ in Christmas this year. Yeah it's for selfish reasons. Yeah I'm a jerk. It's okay I'll get malaria soon.

Bah humbug

Christmas.
I love Christmas.
I love the lights. I love the songs. I love the spirit. I love the Church services.
I love Christmas.

I know that Christmas is supposed to be all about Jesus. We are celebrating the Birth of Jesus (though it may or may not be during the right season, but that's a debate for a different time). During Christmas we are supposed to celebrate the birth of our Savior. The commercialism has made me not like Christmas anymore.

Commercialism sucks to begin with. Hallmark and all of the malls and superstores own Christmas. It has gotten to the point where they are setting up their displays in AUGUST!!!!! It's just wrong. Christmas should not be all about the presents and the spending of money. I hate it this year more than ever. This has been my poorest year ever. My bank account is nill and things keep coming up that take away the very little money I did have.

When you are having a hard time getting presents for all the people on your list to begin with, the uber commercialism makes you feel like shit. Can't afford the new thing this year, cant afford presents for everyone, cant afford what you think people really deserve.

Christmas is in 3 days. I've bought 2 presents. After work today I have to brave the crowds and try to go shopping with the little money I have. Too bad nowhere in the area sells myrrh.

AHHHHHHHHHHH breathe breathe AHHHHHHHH

This summer has been a series of panicing!

1) Atlantic Union College has lost it's accreditation. PANIC!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH AHHHHHH WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
2) It's okay I got it! I'll apply to a few schools.
3) PANIC!!! that means going far away! That means losing my job! AHHHHH!!!!!
4) Nope it's all good! I'll finish my degree online and I can work during the day. Yay!
5) Crap! I need somewhere to live!!!! AHHHHH I can't afford any of the apartments around here
6) Wait...Washignton Adventist University said they will cover us for the year. so If AUC doesn't win the appeal my degree will just come from WAU, but I keep taking classes at AUC and live in the dorm. well sigh of relief!
7) WHAT??? all of the head of financial aid have left? Financial aid is being run by someone who graduated in may? That cannot be good! They are smart and getting out while they can aren't they??
8) EXCUSE ME????????? I owe $2400? I need to pay $1100 in order ro register for the fall semester! Where do you suggest I find that money?
9) Dr. Roberts left? What do you mean? Dr. Trott might be leaving? Dr. Trott? Like DR TROTT???? okay, well, um... let the panick attack begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!
10) How am I gonna come up with $1100 by teh deadline? I can't! More loans? I don't have good credit! AHH
11) contracted teachers aren't coming back. Wait that doesn't affect me. No, but it means they are getting rid of more and more. Oh, not a good sign!
12) Inbox message: Remember the deadline for registration at liberty University is August 11th! Sigh of relief? cause of panic? does it matter?
13) WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????/