Last week I was given a bead for my charm bracelet. It is called "Transitional Woman" and it depicts a woman evolving. I have decided that Transitional Woman and I do not agree. This past week has been absolutely awful for me. I fully believe that I have cried more in the past ten days than anyone should. period. I apparently am not a fan of transition. The change is difficult to deal with. For the past four years I have been a college student and what am I now? How do I identify myself to myself? I wish that I had gone straight into classes once I got finished at AUC. Maybe things would have been easier that way? There are so many questions floating around in my head right now and the inability to answer them all makes me anxious. Where am I going with my life? What am I doing with my life? What will Princeton be like? Will I be able to pass Greek? Will I make friends? What will living in New Jersey be like? What will I do once I am done with Princeton? How will David and I make the five hour distance work? Will I be able to find a job at Princeton?
Another issue I am having is that I feel like there is nowhere I belong. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally. They are genetic programmed to in a way, like you. My family does not like me. My family does not love me. They have made this abundantly clear as of late. If, the people who are supposed to love me do not, who will? If I do not belong with my family where do I belong? I no longer belong at my college, so where do I belong? Where is a family I can call my own? Is there anywhere that I belong?
Showing posts with label transitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transitions. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
New House
1/3/11 10:40 PM
Transitioning to the second host was a lot less scary. Maybe the scary part the first time was the fact that I was unaware of the fact that we were being separated. But unlike last time I am not freaking out at all this time.
Today we had lunch with Fru Ndi. When planning this trip I dot think anyone thought we'd meet the head opposition of the president of Cameroon. Never mind meeting him, we have been his personal guests for meals twice and pastor Cindy is staying at his home. I ate lunch today on Fru Ndi's left hand. There's something cool about dining and laughing with a powerful political figure in their country, in their home. He is such a kind and hospitable guy too.
The last thing I did with Emelia was visit the treasury. I was introduced to everyone there! I feel like a tourist attraction more than a tourist. The head of finance (our version would be secretary of the treasury) was very interested in me. He's one of those guys that believes Prayer can heal everything. He gave me his personal cell phone number and if I ever need prayer I am to call him and he will pray with me over the phone because god's healing power is wireless. He also offered to e my daddy and said I am welcome to cone back to Cameroon any time I want and stay with him...awkward.
My new host is Rosa. Everyone calls her Ma. That's because she is everyone's mother. She says she has taken care of 60 children all together. SHe had seven of her own and then has taken in other children who has needed family. She provides for them all and good educations too. She is the treasurer for the church. Of course she's also in the Christian Women's fellowship. She works as a teacher in the local government school. Her classes have 100 kids in them. She said she will take me to see the school. She also own a business in town and sells all kinds of things, but mainly medications. She also farms like all the vegetables they use. She believes in only buying what you can't produce yourself.
Today we went to her store and I sat there and watched as she gave advice to customers. Then we went back to the compound and picked up her daughter and her daughters friend. They go to the Presbyterian secondary school. It's a boarding school and today was the day to go back. All of the children here uniform and the color of the uniform dictates their year. All if the children are also required to shave their head. Their hair can't be longer than a pencil tip.
Later we went back to the store and talked for a long time. Back at the house there was more talking. I really like Ma and she offered to be my momma. Tomorrow is Bafut with the whole group and I'm hoping Ma takes me to the school.
Transitioning to the second host was a lot less scary. Maybe the scary part the first time was the fact that I was unaware of the fact that we were being separated. But unlike last time I am not freaking out at all this time.
Today we had lunch with Fru Ndi. When planning this trip I dot think anyone thought we'd meet the head opposition of the president of Cameroon. Never mind meeting him, we have been his personal guests for meals twice and pastor Cindy is staying at his home. I ate lunch today on Fru Ndi's left hand. There's something cool about dining and laughing with a powerful political figure in their country, in their home. He is such a kind and hospitable guy too.
The last thing I did with Emelia was visit the treasury. I was introduced to everyone there! I feel like a tourist attraction more than a tourist. The head of finance (our version would be secretary of the treasury) was very interested in me. He's one of those guys that believes Prayer can heal everything. He gave me his personal cell phone number and if I ever need prayer I am to call him and he will pray with me over the phone because god's healing power is wireless. He also offered to e my daddy and said I am welcome to cone back to Cameroon any time I want and stay with him...awkward.
My new host is Rosa. Everyone calls her Ma. That's because she is everyone's mother. She says she has taken care of 60 children all together. SHe had seven of her own and then has taken in other children who has needed family. She provides for them all and good educations too. She is the treasurer for the church. Of course she's also in the Christian Women's fellowship. She works as a teacher in the local government school. Her classes have 100 kids in them. She said she will take me to see the school. She also own a business in town and sells all kinds of things, but mainly medications. She also farms like all the vegetables they use. She believes in only buying what you can't produce yourself.
Today we went to her store and I sat there and watched as she gave advice to customers. Then we went back to the compound and picked up her daughter and her daughters friend. They go to the Presbyterian secondary school. It's a boarding school and today was the day to go back. All of the children here uniform and the color of the uniform dictates their year. All if the children are also required to shave their head. Their hair can't be longer than a pencil tip.
Later we went back to the store and talked for a long time. Back at the house there was more talking. I really like Ma and she offered to be my momma. Tomorrow is Bafut with the whole group and I'm hoping Ma takes me to the school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)